MISSOULA, MT — Lindsey Madison was charged with assault and destruction of property in the wee morning hours after totally losing her goddamn mind, despite the cursive tattoo on her wrist that’s sole purpose was to remind Lindsey to “let it be.”
Friends and acquaintances of Madison were completely shocked that the freshly inked lettering failed to remind Madison to let it be when she saw her boyfriend’s messaging history.
“I don’t understand how it happened,” said Madison’s aunt, Mary Hodges. “The tattoo clearly serves as a constant reminder for Lindsey to let things be. But somehow she still ended up keying his car and hitting him in the head when she threw that lamp. I mean, from what it says in the police report, she went berserk. I was going to get a ‘refuse to sink’ tattoo pretty soon, but what if I drown now?”
The incident caused those close to Madison to speculate that if the tattoo was placed on another part of her body, such as her neck, she might have seen it as she got ready in the mirror to go out and confront her now ex-boyfriend about his infidelity.
“She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt,” said close friend Em Brinkley. “How the hell was she supposed to ‘let it be’ when her sleeves covered her ink up? I told her she should have gotten it on her breast plate, right along her cleavage. Lindsey wears low-cut shirts, anyways, and at least that way it would have been visible anytime she was in front of a mirror or just looked down.”