ATLANTA — Marty Norris has been a wookie fanatic ever since he laid eyes on Chewbacca in the first Star Wars movie. Norris says he literally wants to be a wookie. But DragonCon is the closest he can come to turning his fantasy into a reality. However, his geeked-out slice of paradise has been tainted by an upswing in the number of furry enthusiasts that attend the convention.
Furries are a group of people who enjoy dressing up as animals or fur-covered creatures. In pop-culture and throughout internet circles, furries have also earned a reputation for having sex with one another, while in full costume.
“I go the whole nine yards most years. This DragonCon, I even brought a crossbow to make it a little more obvious that I’m a wookie like Chewbacca,” said Norris. “Instead, most people just thought I was just a homicidal furry. Definitely didn’t help with the ladies. I even have the Chewbacca yell-cry down but they thought it was me moaning and were majorly creeped out.”
“On Sunday night, things started looking up. I had these ewok girls invite me back up to a party in their hotel room,” said Norris. “Turns out they weren’t ewoks at all. I get up there and dogs were screwing cats, mouses doing chipmunks. No one was safe. It was a full-blown furry orgy.”
At press time, Norris was reportedly considering asking his best friend to dress up as Han Solo to next year’s convention to see if it might eliminate the confusion.