WASHINGTON D.C – After Michelle Wolf’s scathing evisceration of the Trump Administration, the White House Correspondents Association (WHCA), issued a formal apology.
“We had no idea who this women was. We just kind of googled ‘female comedian’ and hired the first result. It was similar to what John McCain’s campaign did with Sarah Palin back in ‘08. And that mistake gave us President Obama, so we’re cool, right?” Margaret Talev, President of the WHCA, said in a statement.
“We deeply apologize if anyone was offended by Wolf’s apt characterization of the Trump Administration and the GOP. We will certainly ensure that safe spaces will be provided for next year’s event, along with cuddly teddy bears and pacifiers. For a nominal fee, attendees will also be able to have someone soothingly coo, ‘Aww, who’s an adorable little white nationalist?’ into their ear. We promise that these amenities will make the next event more palatable for a certain subset of the American population. We will do better,” the statement continued.
“In any case, Wolf’s characterization of the current political landscape not only egregiously breached the bounds of common decency, but it also served as a vile attack against journalism in the post-truth era, which mostly consists of factually dubious opinion pieces, delivered by charlatans in fancy suits, who were likely beaten senseless in high school.”
In a statement to Fox News, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was quoted as saying that the only way she’ll attend another WHCA event, is if they offer her a live soul to devour.