Weinstein Accusations To Set New Sexual Standard for an Incredible 5 Days

As outrage occurs over Weinstein’s sexual allegations, Hollywood analysts are excited to report they expect this new found ethical stance to last about 5 days. “We’re excited to see this unprecedented change in the status quo that we expect to last an incredible 120 hours” reports analyst Koby Jones “ Hollywood has been mired in unethical and questionable behavior for decades, and the amount of famous people make it difficult  to create a lasting effect. However, the power of social media has changed all of that for us, as we expect this revolution to an unprecedented 7,200 minutes.”

These new allegations have even led to a fresh wave of continuing to ignore all other sexual assault cases that happen to 2 out of every 1,000 people. This new standard of social media posts that call attention to Weinstein’s actions as well as the omnipresence of sexual assault are a revolutionary contrast to the social media norm where sexual assault is mentioned and promptly ignored. Experts are excited to see how much attention can be paid to one event at the expense of an entire culture that generates these actions in the first place. “Like we said, Weinstein’s questionable activities will not go unnoticed, and we expect this to make a big difference for at least 5/7s of 1 week.” Weinstein reportedly anxiously awaits everyone to start forgetting about his actions like they did in the past.

The interview was interrupted by a facebook status change and Kim Kardashian waking up.


To Top