Politics

War On Easter: Crazed Liberals Take Easter Bunny Hostage

Crazed liberals take Easter Bunny hostage, declare War on Easter.

The United States of America, a country that’s overwhelmingly Christian, is engaged in spiritual warfare. Its people are under attack — by some of its own. First, the libtards tried to get Killary Clinton elected over the Lord’s Choice Donald J. Trump. Then, they escalated the War on Christmas, literally forcing persecuted Christian Americans to have to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Any signs or mentions of the Lord’s birthday can lead to arrest, angry protests, complaints, threats, and of course, people being offended. The liberal snowflakes are having their way with Jesus right now and any brave, rifle-toting, red-blooded, Christian American has to face the fact that it’s our God-given duty to put an end to the sinful, irreverent, and disgraceful direction the United States is heading. The crazed liberals have  declared a War on Easter by doing less than taking the Easter Bunny himself hostage.

In a disturbing video, a self-proclaimed “millennial snowflake” had a machete pressed against the Easter Bunny’s throat in a clear declaration of war on Christianity in the United States.

“I’m terrified,” said Alabama resident Jo Beth. “I shouldn’t have to celebrate Easter or Christmas behind closed doors, but that’s what it’s come to. The libtard media are so concerned with political correctness that they’ve destroyed freedom of speech. Meanwhile, the Easter Bunny is fearing for his life. Well, guess what? Fake news CNN isn’t covering this at all.”

In the video broadcast the radical millennial snowflake said that he would release the Easter Bunny only if Christians referred to it simply as The Bunny, thereby omitting Easter from its title. He stated that if they refused, insisting on calling it by its full name, that he would have no choice but to behead “The Bunny.”

Instead of giving into the radical liberal’s demands, President Donald J. Trump sacrificed a day at the golf course in order to address the terrorist directly.

“We’re getting near that wonderful Easter Holiday that people don’t talk about anymore,” said Trump. “They don’t use the word Easter because it is not politically correct. Well, guess what? We’re saying Happy Easter again. And you know what else? We’re gonna call the Easter Bunny by his name. PERIOD.”

The White House declined a request for further comment on this, but the administration has continued to take a firm stance for the poor, persecuted Christian-right of the United States. If the Easter Bunny is returned unharmed, President Trump will surely receive credit as the man who saved Easter — and rightfully so.

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