Trump Says Becoming President has Strained His Long-Standing Friendship with Putin

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin ride a tandem bike together.

WASHINGTON — Outside of the Senate chamber, a throng of media caught up to President Donald Trump. Nearly all present inquired about his ties to Russia as James Comey’s testimony continues to paint the Trump Administration in a less than flattering light before the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and the American people. The President, appearing visibly disturbed, sent away many of the journalists present reportedly for being, “Fake news.”

After a long pause, Donald Trump addressed the chosen few members of the media who remained. “I gave up my life of luxury to try to make this country great again” said Trump, “What I didn’t realize was that I’d be viciously attacked. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again — no president has ever been treated so poorly.”

A remaining media member asked the President if he “thought it wise or prudent” to go back and forth on his claim to friendship and contact with Russian President Vladimir Putin, to which the reporter went on to suggest that perhaps some of criticism was brought on by Trump’s own words and actions.

The reporter was promptly removed from the dwindling media members.

“Since when did friendship become a crime?” Trump asked, later clarifying that was not an admission of any sort.

Another member of the media replied saying that it would be a crime in the case of treason. He was shortly removed.

“Being president is harder than I thought,” Trump said, “But the hardest part is the huge strain it’s put on my very long, very great, great friendship with Putin.”

A single tear trickled down his cheek as President Trump pushed his way through the last media members.

In other news, the presidential dog has been revealed to be a red and white, blue-eyed Siberian husky puppy named Vlad.

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