Politics

Trump Continued to Deny Climate Change as Gust of Wind Blew His Hair Away During Visit to Houston, Calls Irma a “Fake Hurricane”

Bald Donald Trump hobbles after his hair after a gust of wind stole it right off his head.

WASHINGTON DC — Donald Trump continued to deny climate change even as a powerful gust of wind blew the hair right off his head during his visit to Houston, where he was sent to personally witness the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey.

His aides scrambled to shield Trump from cameras seeking to catch the President without his signature orange hair. He covered his nearly bald head with his hands, and hobbled after his hair, scooping it out of a pool of water.

And still, Donald Trump continued to deny climate change Saturday morning even as he received word that Hurricane Irma caused major damage and tore the roof off of his Floridian resort and Presidential getaway Mar-a-Lago.

As global temperatures have risen, it’s increased the amount of vapor in oceanic wind currents, among other factors that have all led to category 4 and 5 hurricanes on a frequency and scale never seen before.

CNN and many mainstream news outlets, the very media Trump has consistently attacked, have made it abundantly clear that Irma is much larger and more powerful than Hurricane Andrew, which caused billions of dollars in damage in the 90’s. But Trump also insists that Irma’s magnitude is greatly exaggerated, calling it a “fake hurricane.”

At press time, Trump was reportedly brainstorming new ways to try to purge the United States of diversity and ethnic culture.

 

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