EWING, NEW JERSEY – In a nod to left-leaning Millennials, Trojan has decided to release a new ad campaign featuring President Trump, with the tagline “Prevent Another Mango Mussolini, Always Wrap Your Peenie.”
“Trojan typically does not use scare tactics in its marketing campaigns, nor does it make use of contemporary political issues in its messaging. However, we felt that with the Trump Administration’s increasingly brutal crackdown on reproductive rights, it is of vital importance that we teach young people to use caution when engaging in sexual activity. We thought that using the embattled 45th President of the United States as a symbol of, erm….unfortunate reproductive choices, might give the Millennial generation pause for reflection,” explained Matthew T. Farrell, CEO of Church & Dwight, which owns Trojan condoms.
“Honestly, the ad is pretty effective. The thought of giving birth to another Trump scares the living shit out of me, so I always make sure to use protection. I don’t want to be responsible for unleashing a plague upon humanity,” Adam Jones, a 22 year old college student at University of Virginia, said in a testimonial.
Unfortunately, in many rural communities across the country, where unplanned pregnancy is already an epidemic, the viral marketing campaign has had some unintended consequences. Since Trojan began airing the spots, there has been a 15% spike of young adult pregnancies in red states, with many young people in these areas saying that they want to “initiate the Second Coming of Christ by birthing another President Trump.”
In response, Trojan is considering prematurely terminating the ads, to which conservative watchdog groups have angrily responded that they must carry the campaign to term.
