Tigerlily Finds Catnip, Contemplates Meaning of “Nine Lives”

Cat on catnip ponders nine lives, while living life on the ledge.

ATLANTA — Tigerlily snuck into the pantry and got into the catnip once again. Her owners give the mercurial feline the herb to calm her down due to the cat’s anxiety around people. However, Tigerlily treated herself on Tuesday morning, causing her to contemplate her existence and to question whether or not she does indeed have nine lives.

On numerous occasions, Tigerlily heard her humans say she has more than one life, but as she stared down the ledge overlooking the entrance to her home, she found herself wondering what would happen if she didn’t quite land on her feet.

“Do they mean I’d be reincarnated as a mouse or a bird, and do that nine separate times? Or do I just get another life as a cat?” meowed Tigerlilly. “Fuck, this is some strong ‘nip.”

“So let’s just say I do have more than one life. Do I remember the last one? Or if I don’t, am I really me? Because it seems to me that the real value of life is the accumulation of experience and the texture it gives to our existence.”

Tigerlily raised herself on her hind legs and wiggled her backside, tail twitching from left to right. Her human scooped her up as she prepared to throw herself off the ledge.

“Perhaps, this was your meaning all along,” she yowled. “Only that surviving or the continuation of life is figuratively another life altogether.”

At press time, Tigerlily was still gazing off into oblivion, wondering how her owner is able to weaponize rain in a bottle in order to make her stop scratching the couch.


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