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Teen Has Aux Cord Privileges Revoked By Friends

ATLANTA — After pleading his case for the auxiliary cord intermittently through their late night drive, teens Corbin James and Alex Thomas reluctantly agreed to let friend Matthew Deloitte determine the playlist.

At first, Deloitte rotated among Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, and up-and-comer Russ, a grouping of artists popular amongst his generation.

However, Deloitte, wanting to show his friends that the older songs told better stories and had stronger lyrics, veered from the mainstream tastes of his contemporaries.

He switched to the Eagles, playing songs like “Hotel California” and “Tequila Sunrise” to ease them into “I Can’t Tell You Why,” which illustrates the deeper complexities of the dissolution of love. Thomas and James both found Deloitte’s taste “weird,” but let him keep aux privileges for a little longer.

Deloitte transitioned to Jackson Browne’s “Doctor My Eyes,” eager to show his friends what he calls a “master songwriter.” He promptly had his iPhone unplugged and his aux cord privileges revoked.

“I really thought they were feeling it,” Deloitte said. “I guess video really did kill the radio star.”

With the music back in control of James and Thomas, they ended the ride listening to Post Malone’s “Congratulations.”

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