Teddy Bear Silently Pleads to Not be Left Alone with Unneutered Chihuahua

Teddy bear sitting on a log, staring off into the distance.

ROSWELL, GA — As Gabriela Olvera prepared to leave for work, her teddy bear silently pleaded not to be left alone with her unneutered chihuahua Hercules “Boo Boo” Olvera.

Glassy-eyed Teddy implored Gabriela to stay, hoping to cuddle for even just a little while longer. Instead, of tender cuddles, however, Teddy was helplessly left to the disposal of Boo Boo’s rougher, carnal preferences.

The chihuahua has taken Teddy as a lover, and desires to have pups with the bear someday. The family has yet to break it to Boo Boo that Teddy is not fertile.

In fact, when Boo Boo engages Teddy in his activities on the living room floor around meal time, the family derives entertainment from it. They are, however, completely unaware of the earnestness of Boo Boo’s efforts to start a family of his own.

Recently, upon returning home from work, Gabriela noticed a hole opening up in the Teddy’s backside. Anticipating sympathy from his cuddle partner, the teddy bear was horrified when Gabriela instead remarked that he was looking old and worn out.

“Dear God,” Teddy thought to himself, “get me out of this nightmare.”

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