All posts tagged "God"
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586Top StoryHeaven Reaches 144,000 Person Capacity, God Reveals Plans For Second, Even Cooler Heaven
Saturday afternoon, Heaven officially reached its 144,000 person max capacity. The chosen few must maintain a standard of faith and good conduct,...
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711LocalGod Confirms He Did in Fact Create Yoga Pants; Blames Satan for Selfie Sticks and Squiggly Eyebrows
HEAVEN — The Lord God Almighty confirmed late Thursday evening that he did in fact create yoga pants. “Adam wouldn’t stop staring...
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710PoliticsGod on Nashville Statement: ‘Please Stop Being a Dick in My Name’
BETHLEHEM – Following the release of a controversial manifesto by The Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, which harshly condemns homosexuality and...
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522LocalInspirational Facebook Meme Leads to Epiphany
DES MOINES, IOWA – While scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed, normally a deluge of cat photos and passive aggressive status updates, Matthew...
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519TechGod Enraged After Looking Through Followers’ Browser Histories
BETHLEHEM – When God created the internet, He hoped that the new method of communication would allow His faithful congregation to praise...
