All posts tagged "Amazon"
-
1.8KTechOpen Letter to Jeff Bezos: Buy Twitter and Ban a Certain User
Dear Mr. Bezos, We at The Millennial Snowflake would like to take a break from our coverage of breaking news, in order...
-
760BusinessJeff Bezos Breaks Into Abandoned Toys R Us, Tells Ghost Story of The Boy Whose Parents Wouldn’t Get Him A Toy But Now He Can Buy The World
The iconic toy seller Toys R Us will close down all 800 locations throughout the U.S. after plunging roughly $5 billion dollars...
-
500BusinessToys “R” Us Sell ‘Adult Toys’ in Effort to Revamp Sales
WAYNE, NEW JERSEY – In a last ditch effort to save his company from bankruptcy, Toys “R” Us CEO Dave Brandon has...
-
623BusinessTopeka Inexplicably Confident It Will Be Home of Amazon’s Second Headquarters
SEATTLE — Topeka Mayor Larry Wolgast excitedly called a meeting with his staff and told them to contact every reporter and news...
-
506BusinessAmazon Vows to Only Send User Purchasing Habits to Government Upon Request from Now On
SEATTLE — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos vowed that the online shipping juggernaut would only hand over its users’ purchasing habits to the...
-
899BusinessLeather-Clad, Shotgun Wielding Jeff Bezos Terminates Rogue Amazon Delivery Android
A leather-clad, shotgun wielding Jeff Bezos chased a rogue and fully sentient Amazon delivery android through his Seattle headquarters. The delivery android...
