Local

STUDY: Girls Who Quote Marilyn Monroe 400% More Likely To Fake A Pregnancy To Keep A Partner Around

Marilyn Monroe says, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

In a new study released by the Millennial Snowflake Research Center, it’s estimated that girls who quote Marilyn Monroe are 400% more likely to fake a pregnancy to keep a partner around.

The most popular quote amongst participants of the study is Monroe’s famous saying “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,” a line that is preceded by a list of Monroe’s own self-perceived character flaws.

“Typically, what we’ve observed is that young women use that quote to justify mild to severe narcissistic tendencies,” said MSRC head researcher Clifford Gareth. “Instead of working on fixing those issues, they transfer their burden onto their partner. In this case, however, we would like to warn anyone romantically interested in a girl, to absolutely flee the first time they hear a young women quote Marilyn.”

The researchers were also able to build a professional profile that was able to accurately predict, which women by profession were most likely to quote Monroe.

“They tend to gravitate towards cosmetology, stripping, waitressing, really anything that’s considered a ‘looks first’ occupation,” said Gareth. “Those are mere indicators. The real danger of this type of partner is that they are four times more likely to fake a pregnancy to keep a partner around. In layman’s terms, they’re batshit crazy.”

The MSRC advises men to absolutely flee in terror if their partner quotes the blonde starlet and sex icon.

“Get out while you still can,” warns Gareth.

 

To Top