Shady Oaks Sexy New Arrival Rouses Competition, Ethel Breaks Out Shoulder-Revealing Dress

Ethel the grandma reveals shoulders to the world. Mrs. Steal Yo Grandpa.

Just when it seemed mahjong and bridge were as competitive as things could get at Shady Oaks Retirement Home, sexy new arrival Bill Henderson turned up the heat another notch. Word around the home is that Bill is a long retired CIA and widowed after the recent passing of his wife, Diane. The silver fox has become the central topic of discussion in gossip circles, dissolving the sisterly affection among many of the female residents as they vie for his attention. While Gertrude, Karen, Doris, and Maude have deployed various peacocking tactics, including baking Bill deserts, writing letters, and making more direct overtures, Ethel gained a lead when she broke out her shoulder-revealing dress. The others have been bitterly forced to wait their turn for a ride with “Wild” Bill, all secretly praying for Ethel’s passing. However, with Bill’s outward flirtation towards a number of the women, it appears that perhaps the Shady Oaks stud will be generous and open with his love. This type of situation is very common in retirement homes as the women tend to outlive the men, the blue pill fuels the who remain, and the residents live each day as though it is their last. But for now, the others must begrudgingly accept that Bill chose “that harlot.”

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