Politics

Who said it: Donald Trump or Emperor Caligula?

Donald Trump is the new Roman Emperor Caligula.

It seems like everyday presents us with an absolute gem of a soundbyte or tweet from former reality televsision star turned Twitterer-in-Chief Donald Trump.

Whether he’s busy explaining why counterprotesters are just as bad as white supremacists or tweeting threats of nuclear war against North Korea, millions of Americans cringe when the former host of The Apprentice speaks. In fact, day by day, Trump’s quotes are sounding more and more like the nororiously insane Roman Emperor Caligula, which is exactly why we’ve chosen him as the perfect counterpart for the POTUS in our first edition of “Who said it?”

Let the games begin!

 

1. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

2. “My sister is so hot.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

3. “Happy New year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

4. “Let them hate me, as long as they fear me.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

5. “Why can’t we use nuclear weapons?”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

6. “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again — just watch. He can do much better!”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

7. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

8. “These times are bad. No disasters, no war. I pray for it, or a famine, plague, fire, or at least an earthquake.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

9. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

10. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

11. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

12. “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

13. “I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

14. “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything….Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

15. “Would that the Roman people had a single neck to cut off their head.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

 

16. “I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.”

A) Trump

B) Caligula

The correct answers would be Trump for every quote except for 2, 4, 8, 13, and 15. I know it’s a bit unfair to compare Caligula to such a deranged madman, but he came out of this edition of “Who said it?” favorably compared to the founder of Trump University.

 

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