WASHINGTON D.C. — We at The Millennial Snowflake have received reports that President Trump recently ordered FCC Chairman Ajit Pai to launch a coordinated attack on our server. This malicious and covert operation temporarily rendered our website out of commission.
The report obtained by The Millennial Snowflake on Monday states that President Trump took these actions in retaliation for our “unfair” and “totally biased” coverage of his administration.
This was not the first time that our world-renowned reporting provoked the ire of the Commander in Chief. In October of last year, he tweeted that we are “the worst example of #FakeNews” that he had ever seen.
Undaunted by the President’s threats and hostile actions, we have decided to continue presenting our groundbreaking journalism to the public. That is why we have moved our servers to Moscow, and will continue to operate from inside The Kremlin, with President Putin’s approval.
We appreciate your patronage.