Science & Technology

Report: 8/10 Americans Prefer Fake News

A banner of fake news.

In a shocking poll conducted by the Citizens Liability Institute of Transylvania (CLIT), the results showed that 8 out of every 10 Americans prefer fake news.

“Reality can be painful,” said leading CLIT researcher Dr. Tricia Unger. “Often times it forces us to look at our misconceptions and preconceived notions, to admit our sins so to speak. Many cannot do that or admit their wrongs, instead choosing to live in alternate realities with alternative facts.”

CLIT researchers will reportedly begin to focus on creating a computer virus that will be triggered to infect a software system any time fake news is shared on social media. They hope that this will train Americans to prefer fact over fiction by providing them with a negative and painful experience in the case that they disseminate false information.

At press time, the CLIT team also learned that 6 of the 8 who prefer fake news are Republicans, suggesting that a political profile can be gleaned from one’s preference for fantasy versus reality.

“Generally-speaking, Republicans prefer to be lied to,” said Dr. Unger. “I think it’s just a lack of critical thinking skills, but it could be some type of fetish.”

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