Instagram employees reluctantly called in a rescue team this weekend to save 1,253 users who were caught in a thirst trap and at risk of drowning in their own saliva. Instagram fitness model @BodaciousBecky69 set the trap Friday night — a picture of herself wearing a bikini on a swan float in a pool, with the caption, “Throwback to summer…ugh, who has a hot tub?” The image and question proved to be too much for many users, who eagerly took the bait, leaving dozens of comments mere minutes after the post.
“It started off like any other day,” said Instagram user @ColesterThaSwoldier. “I see this type of thing all the time. You know, the hot girl cutting fruit in a sports bra. Usually I don’t fall for that type of thing, but this was just irresistible. I mean, when she asked who has a hot tub, I felt like she was speaking directly to me.”
Instagram had no choice but to reach out to authorities and emergency responders for help. Initially, they remained hopeful the situation would work itself out, but the number of trapped users kept rising, with zero indication that they would find their own way out.
“Unfortunately, this is a very regular occurrence. It’s traumatizing for the victims, but it also deeply affects their girlfriends, stirring up toxic levels of jealousy and, rightfully so. How would you feel if your boyfriend drowned to death in his own saliva after drooling over another woman?” said emergency responder Daniel Griggs. “These incidents peak during summertime. Swimsuit season is just too much for many men to handle. It’s tragic, but also strange to see the types of traps they fall into. Sometimes the captions are bible verses accompanying a very seductive picture. That one always baffles me, but it works without fail.”
Instagram employees feared the worst when the comments contained numerous misspellings and grammatical errors from trapped users, suggesting that their thirst had shut off their ability to think almost entirely. The trapped users continued to tell the fitness model that she is “beatiful” and “gorgeos” among other compliments. Responders report, some of the victims even encouraged her to follow them back and to check her messages. According to authorities, many commenters do not learn from their first time falling into thirst traps.
A recent study from the Millennial Snowflake Research Center (MSRC) showed that 2 million Instagram users have already been trapped in 2018 alone. In response, the MSRC launched a massive campaign, “Think It Through, A Like Will Do,” in order to prevent future tragedies like this from occurring. The hope, they say, is that users will refrain from commenting and desperately waiting for a response that, in all likelihood, is never coming.