REPORT: 12 Year-Old Son currently in Hour 3 of talk about Carburetors with Dad

Timothy Jenkinson, a 7th Grader at Hills Groves Middle School, is being put through the goddamn gauntlet right now listening to his father talk about carburetors.

“I don’t know, he keeps saying some shit about the off-idle circuit. I can’t even look at my phone cause then he’ll just clear his throat and stop talking until I’m making full eye contact with him. One of my friends said he saw Jessica Williamson’s bra after school, and that’s the most important shit that’s ever happened ever, but my dad just won’t stop talking.” Jenkinson remarked. “Is this what being an adult is like? Getting excited over a bunch of machinery and lording your knowledge over some poor-bored-out-of-his-mind teenager? I don’t have time for this, I’m ranked in League of Legends.”

Phil Jenkinson, Timothy’s father, commented “Ain’t nothing like some quality father-son bonding time. I remember my dad used to show me how our plumbing worked and I wanted to kill myself, but it’s a good thing I’m much cooler than him.” Phil also mentioned he was excited to restore a 1965 Ford Fairlane with his son later that summer.

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