Kids are a wonderful blessing in so many ways, but they’re also kind of a buzzkill. Am I right? Whether you’re in a movie and they start crying or you’re grocery shopping and they start pitching a fit, it’s enough to make any parent have that stray thought — should’ve wrapped it before I tapped it. In fact, sometimes children are even intentionally disobedient. In the past, grounding them or spanking them would’ve worked just fine. But times are changing and parents have to evolve with them. So now, thanks to the internet, you have one more tool to strike bike with when your child is just ruining your life! Shame them on social media so hard they literally die of embarrassment. When all the blood rushes to their faces, turning them cherry red, there’s none left for their hearts and they will literally die. Here are a couple essentials for properly executing a lethal child shaming.
1. A Sign
Make them hold a sign on which you’ve written what they did wrong in sharpie. Take a picture of them holding said sign and post the pic or video. Example: I smacked daddy in the face when he told me he loved me and I laughed about it.
In addition to pics, make sure you have a video of it, especially if they’re acting particularly heinous. Then make them watch it, so they can see how ridiculous they look acting a fool. Watch the shame flow through their veins.
Here’s your chance to be the star of the show. Show everybody what a great parent you are by explaining what they did wrong to the camera. Whether your child actually gets the lesson or not, you’re going to seem like a pretty badass parent for this move! Not self-aggrandizing at all.