Politics

Pacifist Brawls with Vegan at Peace Rally

A hipster smokes weed on his porch.

SAN FRANCISCO — In an effort to protest a police shooting, hundreds of people gathered in the Bay Area. What was supposed to be a peace rally, quickly turned into anything but, as a vicious brawl ensued.

The bloody incident occurred when a pacifist and a vegan engaged in conversation. The friendly discussion about peace and world issues, forayed into the vegan passionately trying to sway the other man to his dietary preferences and general way of life. The vegan gesticulated aggressively as he described the slaughtering of animals. He worked himself into such a frenzy that he called meat-eaters “murderers.” At this, the pacifist could no longer turn the other cheek.

He yanked on the vegan’s blonde, greasy dreadlocks with the force of twenty years of pent up anger. The two traded blows for a few minutes before the vegan’s yoga practice helped him use his legs to place the pacifist in a hold.

The police intervened shortly after. Both men have been charged with disturbing the peace.

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