Opinion: Millennials are KILLING the Doorbell Industry with Texting

NEW ORLEANS — After roughly a century in operation, Moreau Doorbells will finally close up shop. In an interview, the CEO of the company, Gerard Moreau, told The Millennial Snowflake that he is understandably devastated.

“This business has been family owned and operated for generations. When I think about boarding up the windows and vacating the place, I can’t help but think about how disappointed my great-grandfather, Jacques Moreau, would have been. He founded the shop, operating from a tiny broom closet. I guess you could say the rest is history. By declaring bankruptcy, I feel like I am tarnishing that legacy. That being said, I don’t think I’m wholly at fault here,” Moreau sighed, as he forlornly smoked his cigarette.

“It’s those damned kids with their smartphones, man,” Moreau answered, when asked who else he blames for his misfortune. “These days, you can text someone right from their porch. Makes me sick. Gone are the days when the doorbell would joyfully reverberate throughout the house, letting you know that your friends and family are here for you. Ding dong! Such a beautiful, melodic sound. Now, greetings are just a message on a screen. Where’s the humanity in that?”

“These kids need to understand that whenever they text instead of ringing the doorbell, they are destroying someone’s livelihood. Every text makes it harder for us to feed ourselves, to give our children a proper education. That’s why I’m starting the #RingThatBell hashtag on Twitter. I know that this generation loves online activism, so I hope that they will get the message.”

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