Science & Technology

Oh, Yessssss! New Species of Kinky Snake Likes Being Stepped On

New species of kinky snake likes being stepped on.

FORKS, WASHINGTON — Researchers discovered a new species of snake aptly named the “kinky” snake for its instinct to slither into position to be stepped on. Kinky snakes tend to be about six to nine inches long and 1.5 to 2 inches in diameter. They are not poisonous or aggressive, but are certainly the first recorded reptilian masochist.

“At first, I thought it was an accident. I stepped on one, and it didn’t hiss, but rather, it made this noise that sounded like it said, ‘yesssssssssssss’ — like it liked being hurt,” said Dr. Sally F. Jamison. “Then I lifted my foot to take another step and it slithered beneath that as well, and again and again. Still, we found this to be an unbelievable phenomenon, but as we observed more kinky snakes, they all behaved like this, sliding under our feet repeatedly and making that same strange sound — yessssssss.”

The researchers noted that if they stepped on the kinky snakes and squished them around underfoot, a gooey, milky white liquid came out of the reptiles mouths. They ruled the substance out as being venom, or spit, but have yet to ascertain its exact purpose. Researchers are also still unsure how this mysterious serpent reproduces.

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