Science & Technology

North Korea One-Ups China, Teleports Defector Into Orbit

PYONGYANG — According to the North Korean People’s Tribune, after Chinese scientists successfully teleported a photon over a distance of 300 miles into orbit, Kim Jong Un grew determined to one up their neighboring rival.

Using technology designed by Kim Jong Un himself, a defector of the People’s Republic was teleported into orbit.

Prior to North Korea’s triumph in this realm, teleporting the information from a single photon via quantum entanglement, was considered a major breakthrough. Many were thrilled and satisfied with China’s experiment, seeing it as a huge leap towards creating a quantum internet. However, the great Kim Jong Un has single handedly put them to shame.

Now instead of merely opening up the possibility of sending unhackable, encrypted data, Jong Un believes he could replicate the process, teleporting dozens of defectors sky high.

Some scientists remain skeptical that North Korea pulled off the feat, noting that it would be impossible with current technology to send billions of entangled particles at once.

“Man don’t understand God, you feel me?,” said Jong Un. “This my world, you just living in it.”

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