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New Study Shows Your Subjective Experience of Reality is Actually Objectively True

CAMBRIDGE, MA — After listening to multiple emotionally-charged anecdotes from dozens of reliable sources, Harvard researchers have concluded that a subjective experience of reality is objectively true for the person experiencing it.

“Basing your experiences off of how you feel is the best way to understand the world around you,” said lead researcher Dr. Taniksha Gupta. “Data and statistics should be used strictly as a means of supporting the conclusion you have already come to.”

The researchers sat in a circle listening to their subjects’ impassioned speeches about a host of topics, including climate change, gun control, police brutality against minorities, and the pay gap for women.

A caucasian male, who wanted to remain anonymous, presented what the researchers called “a thoroughly convincing argument” on the topic of police brutality towards minorities. After making a baseless, but articulate point that the media “loves” to race-bait, the man went on to explain that he has never felt threatened by a police officer or witnessed anyone being mistreated by an officer. “If they didn’t break the law,” he said, “then they’d have nothing to be afraid of.”

At the end of his riveting speech, the team concluded that because he had not experienced or even witnessed any discriminatory treatment towards minorities, that his statement held up as empirical evidence.

The man went onto to present an even more compelling case about climate change, citing that his hometown of Birmingham, Alabama was the coldest it had been in the last five years of visiting his parents for the holidays.

Perhaps the strongest argument the man made was in regards to the issue of pay disparity for women. He proved it was really a myth created to feminize the workplace, quickly unraveling it by once again pointing out that at his company he has never seen or heard of unequal pay between a man and a woman.

“We’ve come away from this study rattled,” said Dr. Gupta. “Everything I thought I knew as a researcher and an upholder of empirical truth, is void. Perception is indeed reality.”

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