LOS GATOS, CALIFORNIA — Following her highly publicized arrest in the recent college admissions scandal, Netflix has decided to release a new miniseries, featuring Full House star Lori Loughlin.
“We’re confident that Big House will be our next big hit,” Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, told The Millennial Snowflake. “It’s basically Fuller House meets Orange is the New Black. We’re planning to make it a documentary-style account of Loughlin’s trial and her time in jail.”
“People need to see what jail is really life for people like me,” Loughlin said in an interview with The Millennial Snowflake. “Plus, it really shows my range as an actress. I’m going from Aunt Becky to Inmate #45653. It is a huge opportunity for me.”
“In this business, you have to do everything you can to stay relevant, and avoid being typecast,” she added.
“So, going to prison is a huge opportunity for you?” We asked, visibly raising an eyebrow.
“When life gives you an indictment for falsifying student records, make lemonade, right?”
“I, uhhh…I don’t think that’s the expression, but why not?”
Our interview with Loughlin concluded amid awkward silence, as she mumbled to herself about how this will be her next big break.
The University of Southern California did not respond to our requests for comment.