Politics

Nation Saves Billions of Dollars Sending Thoughts and Prayers Instead of Money

Republicans paid off by the NRA pretend to pray for the victims of the Vegas shooting.

A recent study published by the Millennial Snowflake Research Center (MSRC) shows that the United States of America saves upwards of one hundred billion dollars per year sending thoughts and prayers instead of money. Congress doesn’t believe in providing aid, passing meaningful legislation, or funneling any resources whatsoever to actually promote serious and lasting change. After the Las Vegas shooting last week that left nearly 60 people dead and more than 500 wounded, many prominent Republican senators who voted against gun control measures like stricter background checks, were quick to send their thoughts and prayers to the victims of the massacre.

“You can’t legislate morality,” says North Carolina Senator Richard Burr, who has personally accepted roughly $7,000,000 from the NRA during his career. “We could do stricter background checks, and make it harder to get guns, but at the end of the day, if someone really wants to get ahold of an automatic weapon, they’ll find a way. This type of tragedy has no place in the United States of America. Unfortunately, our hands our tied. I’m sending my thoughts and prayers to all of the victims and their families.”

Donald Trump also sends his thoughts and prayers, in addition to his “warmest condolences.” Experts at the Millennial Snowflake Research Center predict that offering thoughts and prayers instead of money will greatly reduce the nation’s deficit and population simultaneously.

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