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‘Money Can’t Buy Happiness,’ Craig Whispers to Himself Bitterly

Man believes money can't by happiness.

ATLANTA — Craig Hoiberg was recently laid off from his accounting job in the midst of the firm downsizing.

In his first week of unemployment, Craig picked up an assortment of new hobbies, including yoga, growing succulents, and hooping.

However, many of his friends have become concerned for Craig.

“He had like 13 salt lamps around his apartment. And The Secret was playing on loop on his t.v. and none of that’s Craig,” said close friend Evan Stillwell. “I think he’s going through some type of major existential crisis. Work was his life.”

Craig has begun practicing mindful meditation and purchased a pass to Burning Man with the last of his savings.

“He also keeps sending me self-help articles and Ted Talks, and pushing me to read The Power of Now,” said Evan. “He’s not the zen type, man.”

At press time, Craig was heard bitterly whispering to himself that “money can’t buy happiness.”

 

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