WASHINGTON D.C. — According to high ranking Homeland Security officials, First Lady Melania Trump has been arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers. Reportedly, she was dining on Beluga caviar and drinking a 1959 Dom Perignon shortly before she was detained on suspicion of immigration fraud.
On Sunday evening, Matthew Albence, Acting Director of ICE, gave a statement to the press.
“It is well-documented that the First Lady first travelled to the United States on a B1/B2 visa. This visa is designed specifically for tourists to come to the U.S. for brief work related trips, or for pleasure. Unfortunately, during this time, the First Lady took it upon herself to launch her modeling career without a work permit, in blatant violation of immigration law,” he explained.
“We knew that, due to the First Lady’s social standing, her arrest would spark considerable controversy. However, we at the Department of Homeland Security believe that ensuring the safety of our citizens and upholding the rule of law are of paramount concern. We certainly do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, social status, or anything of the kind. Rather, we at DHS base our decisions upon the principle that everyone is equal under the rule of law.”
Melania Trump will be housed in her own wing of the Adelanto ICE Processing Center in California, where she plans to work with migrant children. An aide for the First Lady told The Millennial Snowflake that she is in high spirits, and is embracing this “new, albeit unexpected, phase of her Be Best initiative