WESTMINSTER — Following his decisive election victory on Thursday night, Boris Johnson ordered a large refrigerator to be installed in his residence at 10 Downing Street.
“I need a place to chill out, and get Brexit done,” the Prime Minister jokingly explained to a visibly confused press corp. “The room will likely be my main base of operations.”
The refrigerator locks from the inside, so that Johnson can work in peace, away from the prying eyes of the media and Members of Parliament.
“I don’t want those meddling bureaucrats to interrupt me. I like to think of of this room as my Fortress of Solitude. I’m like Superman, you see. I’m fighting the tyranny of Brussels, and making sure that my offshore accounts stay offsh-.”
Realizing the implications of what he had just said, Johnson frantically scurried to the walk in refrigerator. He then cowered behind the peas and the milk, as an aide slammed the door behind him.
“If they can’t see me, they’ll go away eventually,” he reportedly muttered to himself, in a barely audible whisper.