Politics

Manafort Comes Out as Gay Moments After Indictment Made Public

Amidst a myriad of unrelated accusations, Paul Manafort bore his sexuality to the public moments after his indictment by Special Counsel Robert Mueller. In fact, the former manager of the Trump campaign posted to Twitter stating: “I choose to live as a gay man,” a staggering 3.5 seconds behind the announcement. The conversation, and subsequent media coverage shifted as interest in Manafort’s sexual orientation surged. The central issues of the trial, such as money laundering and tax evasion, have been been all but forgotten in the midst of Manafort’s coming out.

Sources close to Manafort say that although the twelve charges are significant, his sexual orientation takes clear and obvious precedence over the lightly treasonous crimes he’s been accused of.

“The media’s coverage has been increasingly focused on his behavior over the last couple of years, but I’m excited for people to finally get to know the real Manny. It’s just a shame to see how the incredibly biased media has been so focused on this whole Russia witch hunt,” says one close to the situation.

In spite of the recent NYT comment about the exorbitant sums Manafort spent for his clothes and décor for his home, our informant says that his sexuality might help explain these extravagant lifestyle choices.

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