Local Lunatic Already Has Christmas Lights Up and It’s Not Even Thanksgiving

Christmas lights are strung on a house.

Local lunatic Mac “Attack” O’Neill already has his Christmas lights up and it’s not even Thanksgiving. His neighbors reportedly fear for their safety.

“The Mac Attack has always been a bit out there, but we thought he was an alright guy overall. Now even his nickname seems kind of fucked up,” says neighbor Dan Masterson. “I saw him threaten to beat up an old man for letting his dad onto Mac’s lawn. It raised a red flag, but this Christmas light thing is taking it way too far.”

“What type of a psychopath does that?” says next door Danielle Stewart. “They need to start looking to see how many bodies he has buried in his basement. And to think I actually used to think he was kind of sweet.”

At press time, the homeowner’s association was gathered to decide what to do about the lunatic, fearful of the consequences that would most assuredly blow back on them.

“Next he’ll be leaving his Christmas tree up till Easter,” says Masterson.

To Top