Local Fool Honestly Thinks Good Manners Will Get Him Extra Toppings on His Burrito

Burrito builder makes a burrito in line for a sycophantic customer.

ATLANTA — Local fool Sam Deloitte honestly believes good manners will get him extra toppings. He says please and thank you and makes sure to ask the worker, who’s building his burrito, how his day was. But the naive little sycophant is in for a rude awakening.

“I thought for sure they’d give me a bigger scoop of guac or something. At least like extra cheese, but not this time,” says Deloitte. “I even called him Lou from his nametag to get buddy buddy with him.”

“I could see right through him,” says Lou. “Same old story. These guys come in asking how the day’s been. It’s like for fuck’s sake, dude, I got paid $50 and made 300 burritos today. How do you think it’s been? I actually folded his burrito loosely too just to watch his world fall apart when he went to take his first few bites.”

“We’re definitely building rapport,” says Deloitte. “I think next time I come in, he’ll throw a favor my way.”

To Top