Friendzoning certainly has its connotations. Many argue that it is simply a term made up by jilted lovers to call out the person who rejected them. But sometimes we just have to face the fact that it’s a very real place human beings put those who we flat out aren’t interested in — in that special kind of way at least. However, being the one to put the other person in the friendzone is never a pleasant experience. So this DIY trash bag dress will have him friendzoning you!
After you wrap up in this puffy, black trash bag dress he’ll mistake you for being absolute garbage. Now, you’ll never have to worry about unwanted advances, harassment, assault, or catcalling ever again. No more having to tell him you only see him as a friend, or that he reminds you of your brother, or asking him for advice on that guy you like. No more suggesting group hangouts, or politely distancing yourself from him. Before you know it, after you wear your new homemade trash bag dress, he’ll be the one pushing you away!
Get a heavy duty trash bag. The thicker, the better! Cut out two arm holes and another hole in the bottom where you’re head will go through. Put it on! Make sure it’s very loose. You definitely do not want a tight fit. But don’t stop there. Get a second trash bag and cut out two holes in the bottom for your legs. This will serve as a super unattractive undergarment, almost like big, puffy leggings. Otherwise, the trash dress alone won’t be enough. The little pervy man will instead think to himself, “oh well, easy access.”
If this still doesn’t do the trick, try switching to used trash bags, so you’re putrid stench will keep him at bay. If that also doesn’t work, put a brown paper bag over your face. All of these tactics in conjunction should have him friendzoning you in no time, and they’ll keep you safe from the Harvey Weinstein’s of the world!