LOS ANGELES — Twitter erupted with controversy as a number of users noticed two white lines of a powdery substance. Many were quick to jump the gun and announce it had to be cocaine, a rumor Kim Kardashian herself swiftly shut down with a bullet-proof explanation. Kardashian explained that the substance was “sugar from (our) candy mess from dylan’s candy shop.”
She changed her tune the next day to, in effect saying, the marble had marks on it, which is what the lines were. Either way, Kardashian wants the world to know that it’s totally not cocaine.
Look, why wouldn’t we believe her? She is a mother of two, and besides that, a few months ago, she had pictures taken in a normal people apartment to show that she’s just like all of us. On top of that, she worked her way into her celebrity the honest way, and spread her fame to the rest of her family to help get them out of poverty.
Besides, celebrities don’t do drugs. They’re high on life.
In other news, Kim Kardashian suffers nosebleed during Nobu dinner from allergic reaction to shellfish.