PYONGYANG — U.S. Intelligence recently learned Kim Jong-un has been cooking up plans to take internet culture by storm. In addition to attempting to create a nuclear arsenal and watching basketball, the Supreme Leader of North Korea has developed another hobby — cheffing around in the kitchen.
Jong-un reportedly vows to ‘blow your mind’ with his soon to be released cooking show ‘Kim and Kimchi.’ His show will feature himself cooking a variety of traditional Korean dishes like kimchi, Korean barbeque, and haemul pajeon, which is essentially a seafood pancake.
U.S. Intelligence believes Kim Jong-un is motivated to produce Kim and Kimchi as another form of propaganda. It’s an effort to humanize the dictator and portray him as a man of passion and hobbies just like the common person. Also, he reportedly dreams of someday being held in the same regard as Emeril Lagassi, Guy Fieri, and other household names
The unintended consequence, however, seems to be that the North Korean Supreme Leader is so focused on his culinary dreams at the moment that it’s derailed his desire for war entirely. It’s reported he has not been this content with the state of the regime and life in general since Dennis Rodman came to visit.
At press time, the regime was in a heated debate about the merits of broadcasting a food show to the malnourished population of North Korea.