Jeff Sessions has Heated Argument with Girl Scout Troop #4459

Jeff Sessions has yet another enemy in Washington: Girl Scout Troop #4459 of Arlington, VA. This man appears to have a vendetta with everyone that comes across his path, even if it is a group of 3rd grade girls.

The trouble began when the girls visited the White House on an official visit to receive their Certificate of Commendation for their service in the homeless community of Arlington. The group has spent every weekend of the last year giving out food and supplies to the less fortunate in the Arlington area.

Just as they were receiving their certificate, a noticeably upset and slightly intoxicated Sessions burst into the room, accusing the 8 girls, and the Girl Scout community at large, of being “heartless commies.” Sessions began, “Apparently, the Girl Scouts empower girls and promotes compassion, courage, confidence, character, leadership, entrepreneurship, active citizenship, and all sorts of communist BS! They’re all wearing the same uniform! You can’t trust a single one of these girls! I officially accuse them all of espionage! We got some modern day Ethel Rosenbergs in here!”

Fortunately, the troop had all received their ju-jitsu badges the previous weekend, and put the incompetent Attorney General in his place.

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