Hurricane Irma Vows To Wreak Havoc Over Gender Assumption

CNN reported that Hurricane Irma has strengthened into an “extremely dangerous” Category 5 storm, threatening to slam into northeastern Caribbean islands and Puerto Rico by Wednesday before possibly taking aim at the US mainland.

When asked what spurred the angry churning, Irma made one thing very clear. Hurricanes are tired of the hypocrisy:

“It’s 2017 and we deserve respect. So it’s okay to gender assume hurricanes but not people? You want to talk about catastrophic damage? Let’s talk about labeling us as male or female without knowing anything about us. Check your privilege. We’re sick of this shit and we’re doing something about it.”

Irma’s intended peaceful protest could turn violent as she (he? it?) heads west with maximum sustained winds of 175 mph. 

While Irma’s path is still uncertain, it is expected to bring “life-threatening wind, storm surge, and rainfall,” as well as “hope for change”. We reached out to Hurricane Harvey for his (her? its’?) take on things, but received no comment. 


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