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Help! Dozens of Playboy Bunnies in Need of Loving Owner and a Good Home

Hugh Hefner with his playboy bunnies on display.

LOS ANGELES — Hugh Hefner, the silk-robed sex icon and founder of the Playboy empire, died at age 91, leaving dozens of Playboy bunnies in need of a loving owner and a good home. Many of the bunnies have never lived on their own, often coming from small towns and rarely, affluent backgrounds. If left to fend for themselves, the girls might not make it in the wild for more than a month.

“Hef was always big for the girls who got depressed or in some sort of jam,” said Hefner’s close friend and artist Leroy Neiman. “He really got them in a good routine.”

The bunnies have a 9pm curfew, except for two nights per week in which they should be paraded around in clubs, they shouldn’t be allowed to see friends after hours, they should be given a $1000 per week allowance and open tab for beauty treatments and surgeries, and lastly, just as Hefner did, the girl’s are used to being given quaaludes.

The bunnies are, for the most part, in good health, though, whoever adopts them may want to get them tested for a few diseases — just to be on the safe side. They are sweet, loyal, playful, love to cuddle and be groomed, and are sure to bring life and joy to any home that decides to take them in!

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