BETHLEHEM – When God created the internet, He hoped that the new method of communication would allow His faithful congregation to praise Him more efficiently.
However, that is decidedly not what occurred.
“I would not have bestowed freewill upon humankind, had I known that they would use it to violate themselves to foot fetish porn,” God explained in frustration, as He shot a lightning bolt at an internet café.
“I gave my only begotten Son as a sacrifice for their sins, and what do my ungrateful followers do? They search ‘amputee stubjob” on Google!” God shouted with disgust.
When asked how He plans to counteract the pornography epidemic, God did not dismiss the possibility of another Great Flood.
“These sick bastards can think of it like bukkake, except everyone dies at the end,” He reasoned, before catapulting the interviewer down to Hell.