How to Get Rid of the Pesky Raven That Keeps Telling You to “Imagine If The Children Were Gone”

Raven whispers for man to imagine life without the children.

Every parent has been there before. Whether the wicked little birdy visits you nightly in your dreams or whispers to you as you’re tucking the kiddos into bed, we’ve all heard that pesky raven tell us to “imagine if the children were gone.”

The worst part is that long after it’s flown back into the darkness from which it was born, its words linger. You’re left standing over your sleeping children, remembering life as newlyweds before the little ones came into the picture. Now the honeymoon phase is long dead. Instead, your children barge into the room and wanting to be comforted because they’ve supposedly been having nightmares. However, as frustrated as you may be, you realize that as an adult you have to live with your mistakes. So you let the little bastards stick around — it’s the raven that’s gotta go. But how do you get rid of it? That’s the million dollar question we’ve all been trying to answer. Here’s how to drive the omen into the abyss for good.


1. Make a raven-feather dream catcher

This will frighten the bird away from trying to plant dark thoughts in your dreams. It will immediately recognize the feathers as essentially being a death threat.


2. Dress like a raven

Ravens are very territorial. This will confuse it and it will surely retreat.


3. Raise a dove

Combat darkness with light. Send your benevolent spirit animal into battle for you. You may lose, but if all else fails, this might be your only way to keep your soul.


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