Politics

France Asks U.S. to Return Statue Of Liberty

The Statue of Liberty stands proudly overlooking the United States of America

PARIS — On Sunday morning, French President Emmanuel Macron made a formal request for the United States to return The Statue of Liberty.

“The statue was a gift from France, but it was more than that. It was a celebration of Liberty for a great ally, our dear brother in the west,” said Macron. “But that is no longer the case.”

Macron explained that the statue’s inscription, which reads — “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, tempest tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door” — has lost its truthful meaning under the Trump Administration.

“Point-based immigration is ridiculous. Trump doesn’t even fit his own requirements. The man can barely speak English himself,” Macron said, shaking his head. “The United States was once the land of opportunity. Now a toupee-wearing buffoon is single-handedly tearing it apart, starting by trying to prevent the very people who built the country, from entering it. Pardon my French, but what a fucking joke.”

Donald Trump has reportedly agreed to oblige Macron’s request.

“They can keep their statue. We’re gonna have a wall. A great, huge wall,” Trump said. “Ask China. China knows a thing or two about walls. That’s a country I’d do business with. As for the French, let them have it. Their economy is in terrible, terrible shape. They could use every gift they’ll get.”

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