WASHINGTON D.C. — On Wednesday morning Donald Trump fielded questions from several prominent media outlets. He was asked about the Russia probe, school shootings, and other inquiries that appeared to put the POTUS on the defensive. However, he seemed more comfortable — for better or worse — speaking about U.S. relations with Wakanda.
“Trust me, Wakanda has needed the United States for a long time. Obama wouldn’t do. The Dems did nothing to help Wakanda, so now they want Trump to fix that mess,” he said. “Let me tell you, I’ve been to Wakanda. It’s a mess. A big one. It’s going to take a lot to clean up that shithole country.”
Another reporter asked Trump what Killmonger’s overthrow of T’Challa meant for Wakanda.
“I never met the guy, but T’Challa was obviously weak, which is why Killmonger took over. It’s sad. Very corrupt place,” said Trump. “You see it all the time in those countries. One bad guy replaces another.”
The same reporter then informed the POTUS that T’Challa managed to regain the throne, and clarified his original question, saying he had intended to ask how the temporary coup might affect the nation long-term. The reporter, in a follow-up, asked whether Wakandan/American relations have been complicated by them granting asylum to the fugitive terrorist James Buchanan Barnes.
“One of the first things I said I’d do as president was go to war with terrorism. If Wakanda wants to protect terrorists, then they’re an enemy of the United States. And believe me, that’s a war they don’t want to fight. They’ll lose badly,” said Trump.
At press time, Trump reportedly sought out a meeting with Pentagon officials to explore options for going to war with Wakanda, which led to a bleary-eyed White House Chief of Staff John Kelly breaking the news to him that Wakanda is the fictional African nation in the Black Panther movie.