SPOKANE, WASHINGTON — After six year old Spencer Johnson’s tooth fell out, he could hardly contain his excitement.
“The Tooth Fairy is coming!” he squealed with delight, as he carefully placed the small incisor underneath his pillow.
His father, David, was not so enthusiastic.
“I knew that it was time for him to stop believing in fairy tales and magic. He needs to understand the world as it truly is,” David said in an interview with The Millennial Snowflake.
That night, David decided to have a heartfelt conversation with his son.
“Spence, I know that you’re really excited about the Tooth Fairy, but the truth is that she doesn’t exist,” David began.
Visibly distraught, a tear cascaded down Spencer’s cheek, as his father continued.
“You’re getting to be a big boy now, and you need to understand the difference between real and imaginary. The truth is that magical creatures don’t just fall from the sky and give you money. That isn’t how the economy works.”
“How does it work then?” Spencer asked, his despondency momentarily interrupted by budding curiosity.
“Well, son, you see: There are these things called ‘corporations.’ The government provides these corporations tax breaks, and then they use the extra money to create good, high paying jobs for everyone.”
“But Daddy, couldn’t those corporations just keep the money themselves?”
“Oh, you sweet child, that just isn’t how this works. Corporations mean well, and they care about their employees.”
“That doesn’t sound right,” Spencer softly muttered in protest.
“Well, it is! You’re just too young to understand. Go to bed,” replied his agitated father.
“Okay, but you should really stop spreading bourgeois propaganda. I’m just a little kid,” Spencer said, as he got under the covers and went to sleep.