Sports
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883Heartwarming! New England Patriots Being Renamed The New England Kaepernicks
Foxborough, MA — ‘Wild’ Bill Belichick and Good Ol’ Bobby Kraft stunned reporters Thursday afternoon as they announced that the New England...
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1.7KSummer 2018 Blockbuster? Air Bud to be Rebooted with 750 Synchronized Wasps
Looks like we’ve got a remake of a classic children’s film headed our way next year. The Air Bud dynasty is being...
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8135 lessons my father taught me, all involving his desire to be a professional ice dancer
My father, before tragically passing away from a heart attack at age 63, instilled in me some values that I’ll always carry...
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828REPORT: Local 1st Grader is Absolute Trash at Kickball
7 year-old Aiden Johnson has allegedly been described as simply the goddamn worst when it comes to kickball. “I mean, the kid...
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704Robotic Roger Goodell Announces NFL’s New Five-Strikes Domestic Abuse Policy For Star Players To Crowd of Inferior Humanoids
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell experienced wiring malfunctions earlier in the day, but his robot technicians reconfigured his wiring in time for the...
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822Trump Approval Rating Soars to 98% Among Neo-Nazis, 87% Among WWE Fans
WASHINGTON DC — Just six months into his young presidency Trump may reach the lowest of the lows of modern presidents. His...
