Local
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880Muslim Delicatessen Criticized for Refusing to Serve Pork and Beer
DES MOINES, IOWA – Fahri Solak, a deli owner originally from Istanbul, received criticism recently for refusing to serve pork and beer...
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629101 Year Old Woman Announces Secret to Longevity: ‘Shove Pinecones into Your Rectum’
SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA – After over a century of healthy living, Celia Downs spoke to The Millennial Snowflake, in order to share her...
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285Canadian Murderer Eulogizes Victim at Funeral
QUEBEC, CANADA – During an argument about hockey, Steve Schmidt reportedly bludgeoned his friend with a hockey stick. Overcome with remorse, Schmidt...
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493Satirists Struggle to Cover FLOTUS’ Self-Parodying ‘Be Best’ Campaign
WASHINGTON D.C. – Upon witnessing Melania Trump’s speech about her new cyberbullying campaign, satirists all over the country seemed perplexed and dejected....
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443Area Man At Party Trying to Edge Way Into Conversation Circle to Hide Fact He’s Alone and Probably Going to Die That Way
BUCKHEAD, GA — Area man Don Tagliati arrived at a kickback at Al Mata, a long-time friend’s apartment. The gathered party consisted...
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475Polyamorous, Vegan Disappointed By Shortage of Poly-Veg Facebook Groups
Polyamorous vegan Michael Fleming was reportedly extremely disappointed by the shortage of poly-veg Facebook groups. “There have to be more of us...
