Local
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691Local Man Courageously Rejects ‘Male’ Scented Hygiene Products
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN – Charles Durmer, a 27 year old Starbucks barista, recently decided that he would no longer use any scented hygiene...
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770Report: On Independence Day, Charles Darwin Watched Natural Selection at Work from Hell
7TH LAYER OF HELL – According to infernal sources, this Independence Day, Charles Darwin enthusiastically spectated from Hell, as natural selection took...
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808Study Finds Valentine’s Day More Dangerous Than 4th of July
Naturally, many would assume that July Fourth, the most explosive holiday next to New Year’s, is the most dangerous. As it turns...
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1.3KMuslim Delicatessen Criticized for Refusing to Serve Pork and Beer
DES MOINES, IOWA – Fahri Solak, a deli owner originally from Istanbul, received criticism recently for refusing to serve pork and beer...
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933101 Year Old Woman Announces Secret to Longevity: ‘Shove Pinecones into Your Rectum’
SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA – After over a century of healthy living, Celia Downs spoke to The Millennial Snowflake, in order to share her...
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513Canadian Murderer Eulogizes Victim at Funeral
QUEBEC, CANADA – During an argument about hockey, Steve Schmidt reportedly bludgeoned his friend with a hockey stick. Overcome with remorse, Schmidt...
