Local
-
1.1KKavanaugh to Celebrate SCOTUS Confirmation with Massive Kegger
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following Brett Kavanaugh’s contentious confirmation to the Supreme Court, the newly appointed Justice has decided to throw a “totally...
-
2.9KSurvey: 96% of Pro-Life Activists Don’t Care about Children
ATLANTA, GEORGIA – Recently, the Millennial Snowflake Research Center (MSRC) conducted a survey, in order to deduce pro-life activists’ opinions on childrearing....
-
1.7KHow You Can Use This Whole Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse Thing to Justify Your Batshit Crazy Behavior Based On Your Horoscope
Mars is making its closest approach to Earth in 15 years, right as the full moon blushes red in the longest blood...
-
1.1KOPINION: I Make $100M per Year, and Democratic Socialism is Bad
SCARSDALE, NEW YORK – As a wealthy businessman, who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and a sizable trust fund, I can...
-
917Local Man Thinks that People in MAGA Hats Should ‘Keep it to Themselves’
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK – On his way home from his job as a pharmacist, Christopher Mattis was shocked to find a man...
-
369Local Man Courageously Rejects ‘Male’ Scented Hygiene Products
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN – Charles Durmer, a 27 year old Starbucks barista, recently decided that he would no longer use any scented hygiene...
