SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA – Stan Henley, a server at In-N-Out Burger, called into his boss on April 20th, to seek a religious exemption from work.
“Today is very sacred to me and my people. Did you know that marijuana holds spiritual and religious significance for several Native American tribes? Well, my Ancestry.com profile says that I’m 2% Navajo, so making me come in today constitutes racial and religious discrimination,” Henley said to his boss over the phone.
“I thought, ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ 4/20 is our busiest day of the year! All of those idiot stoner kids coming in with the munchies, after indulging in that skunky garbage! Little fuckers always make the place smell like a Goddamned Grateful Dead concert. We need all of our staff on hand,” Henley’s superior, Michael Black, told The Millennial Snowflake.
Henley has considered taking legal action against his employer, but thus far, his efforts have been unsuccessful.
“Every time I call a law firm and explain myself, the lawyers laugh at me and say, ‘Are you high, dumbass?’ I neglect to mention that the answer is actually ‘yes.’”