LONDON, UK — After a tumultuous start to their campaign, which included Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage being doused with a milkshake, the party has decided to release their long awaited manifesto. In lieu of traditional policy proposals, the political pamphlet appears to merely include an image of an unnamed Brexit Party official spitting on a migrant child.
“We feel that our manifesto clearly and concisely outlines our goals and ambitions for Britain,” Farage said in an interview. “These days, people care a lot less about specific policy issues. They just don’t have the time to do their research. You really have to catch the attention of the public quickly, if you want to make a lasting impact. We believe that our party manifesto accomplishes this aim.”
When asked if he felt like publishing this particular manifesto seems rather crude, Farage was rather unfazed.
“You know what’s really disgusting? The fact that the European Union is holding us hostage, and trying to force Cultural Marxism on the British people,” he answered, as he urinated on the entrance of a neighboring mosque.
“Our people will be free. Poorer? Perhaps. Isolated? Maybe. But freedom doesn’t come without cost,” he ended the interview by concluding.